I turned the radio on as I drove home from work this morning. I tuned the FM band to an oldies rock station and "Don't Fear the Reaper" was playing. Fitting, I thought. For the past week I've been seeing dead people.
I've run more code blue's this week than any other in my short history in EMS. The total is up to 11 I think, but really, who's counting? Only three of them have been actual working codes. The rest have been a mix of different varieties of suicides, fatal wrecks and the others were just found dead.
Two of the codes were a hopeless cause. Both were unwitnessed arrests and both were asystolic when we got there. I worked them both because I felt like I needed to and other than the flat green line on the monitor there was no other reason not to. I didn't even get any Epi blips with either one.
It's a statistical fact that there are more suicides attempts in the county that I live and work than in any other in my state. I don't know why, but the people here just hate to live. I think I've seen just about every kind of suicide attempt that there is.
A man hanged himself naked in the front yard, his kids found him while they were going out the door to catch the bus to school. Another man put a hose from the tailpipe of his car into the interior and gunned the engine until he fell asleep and woke up dead. His wife of 23 years found him. A troubled woman ran her brand new Mustang at over 90 miles an hour straight into a concrete bridge pillar. A 16 year old kid put his hunting rifle under his chin and pulled the trigger with his toe. A 70 year old woman put her pearl handled revolver to her temple. All her affairs were neatly laid out on the couch in the front room. And pills....Jesus, the people around here love their bottled death.
The man with COPD found dead in his living room. His O2 and neb treatments almost within reach. The diabetic dead on his cold kitchen floor. His power had been turned off and someone had noticed the smell. The list goes on and on.
The other code that I ran actually had a shot. His was a witnessed arrest in his front yard. We were just around the corner and found him in V-fib. Shock, drugs, pump. Loaded him up, tube down the throat, more drugs, sirens, lights and diesel. A rhythm came back but it was way too slow, drugs wouldn't raise it. Gave him some juice through the pads, just enough. Bump. Bump. Bump. That's it, just to 60 beats a minute. Pulse check, yep, there they are, nice and regular. We got capture. He died anyway. Not long after we got him on the table in the ER.
The song goes off and something else comes on by the Beatles. I'm not a big fan of the Beatles so I turn it off and drive on in silence. I glance up in the rear-view mirror and see Him. He and His black hood and grim stare. Him with His cold hands and fathomless heart.
"I don't fear you", I say out loud to him....
BRM
Monday, October 8, 2007
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Eyes....
I worked with an EMT yesterday. My partner went home sick early in the morning and the EMT in question was the only one that could come in on short notice. I've seen him around a few times. He's about done with Medic school but he's not arrogant about it. Many of the students that are at the end of the class think that they know it all. I wonder if I was like that... I suppose I was. It's funny, I've not had my patch long, on one hand it seems like yesterday, on the other it seems like years....
Anyway, we had a few good runs and the call volume was back to normal. Which is good because with the baby and 2 toddlers at home, sleep is a thing of the past.
I got woke up from a nap by a call for a pedestrian struck. At first I thought I was dreaming, well dream is too nice of a term. I thought I was having another nightmare. The dispatch info was almost the same: Pedestrian struck, small child, no other information at this time. As I realized that I wasn't dreaming I got up and started for the truck and then I started sweating.
When we got there, I took one look and I knew it wasn't going to be as bad as last time. The child was laying on the ground, screaming. His mother was kneeling over him and the whole family was there as well.
The kid had no real major threats. He had ran out behind a car and his lower leg had been run over. He had an obvious tib/fib fracture and a possible hip as well. We stabilized the leg and loaded him up. With the mother on board and the rest of the family in tow, we made our way to the hospital. And that was that. I breathed a sigh of relief once care had been transferred to the nurse.
In the early hours just before dawn I was woken up again for a possible code blue, our talk for a person down and not breathing. We arrive and go inside. There is a middle aged woman lying face down in the bed. Her two small children are there and looking scared. The oldest one had called 911 just like she had been taught in school. There is a bottle of pills scattered across the floor below the bed. I roll her over and note the purple face, cool extremities and slight rigor. She has been down for a while. My EMT partner, the fire department and a cop all look at me.
"What do you want to do?" their eyes ask.
I almost turned around to look for someone else, someone else besides me that they are looking at. I know there is no one else. It's my decision and mine alone. This is the responsibility at its best and worst that my patch provides.
Anyone that has been in this business for even a short time has probably had to decide not to work a code. This was my first. Due to the condition of the body, I knew it was pointless. I also knew that it would only traumatize the children even more to see their mother being put through that.
I'm not ashamed to say that I hesitated in my response to all those eyes. I knew what I should do. I should just attach the wires, run my strip, call the Medical Examiner, etc. etc. All this happened in the space of about 2 seconds in real time. But in my head it stretched out for what seemed like an eternity.
I made my decision. I told a few of the first responders to get the kids out of there. I attached my wires and ran my strip. I called my supervisor and then put in my call to the Medical Examiner. I had taken a look at the pill bottle on the floor and it wasn't something she would have taken in an emergency. Also there was an empty alcohol bottle on the night table and a piece of paper tucked under it. I'd call this an open and shut overdose.
Since I was in charge, it's also my responsibility to talk to the survivors. There is no other adult in the house. There was only the deceased and the 2 kids. The question I began asking myself is, How do you tell two kids less than 10 years old that their mother is dead?
I did it. I did it with tears on my cheeks, but I did it.... I don't know what else to say about that.
As family members were called and friends and neighbors start to arrive. I got the rest of the story. The husband and father had died not a month earlier, car accident somewhere in the mid-west while he was away on business. The woman didn't take it well her sister said. How do you take it well I wanted to ask her. I didn't, I kept my mouth shut and noted down all the pertinent information for my report.
How does someone do that? How does someone get so far down to swallow their own death with a bunch of cheap wine and their kids are in the next room?
I don't know about anyone else that was there. But I went home and picked up my kid and didn't let go for a long time...
BRM
Anyway, we had a few good runs and the call volume was back to normal. Which is good because with the baby and 2 toddlers at home, sleep is a thing of the past.
I got woke up from a nap by a call for a pedestrian struck. At first I thought I was dreaming, well dream is too nice of a term. I thought I was having another nightmare. The dispatch info was almost the same: Pedestrian struck, small child, no other information at this time. As I realized that I wasn't dreaming I got up and started for the truck and then I started sweating.
When we got there, I took one look and I knew it wasn't going to be as bad as last time. The child was laying on the ground, screaming. His mother was kneeling over him and the whole family was there as well.
The kid had no real major threats. He had ran out behind a car and his lower leg had been run over. He had an obvious tib/fib fracture and a possible hip as well. We stabilized the leg and loaded him up. With the mother on board and the rest of the family in tow, we made our way to the hospital. And that was that. I breathed a sigh of relief once care had been transferred to the nurse.
In the early hours just before dawn I was woken up again for a possible code blue, our talk for a person down and not breathing. We arrive and go inside. There is a middle aged woman lying face down in the bed. Her two small children are there and looking scared. The oldest one had called 911 just like she had been taught in school. There is a bottle of pills scattered across the floor below the bed. I roll her over and note the purple face, cool extremities and slight rigor. She has been down for a while. My EMT partner, the fire department and a cop all look at me.
"What do you want to do?" their eyes ask.
I almost turned around to look for someone else, someone else besides me that they are looking at. I know there is no one else. It's my decision and mine alone. This is the responsibility at its best and worst that my patch provides.
Anyone that has been in this business for even a short time has probably had to decide not to work a code. This was my first. Due to the condition of the body, I knew it was pointless. I also knew that it would only traumatize the children even more to see their mother being put through that.
I'm not ashamed to say that I hesitated in my response to all those eyes. I knew what I should do. I should just attach the wires, run my strip, call the Medical Examiner, etc. etc. All this happened in the space of about 2 seconds in real time. But in my head it stretched out for what seemed like an eternity.
I made my decision. I told a few of the first responders to get the kids out of there. I attached my wires and ran my strip. I called my supervisor and then put in my call to the Medical Examiner. I had taken a look at the pill bottle on the floor and it wasn't something she would have taken in an emergency. Also there was an empty alcohol bottle on the night table and a piece of paper tucked under it. I'd call this an open and shut overdose.
Since I was in charge, it's also my responsibility to talk to the survivors. There is no other adult in the house. There was only the deceased and the 2 kids. The question I began asking myself is, How do you tell two kids less than 10 years old that their mother is dead?
I did it. I did it with tears on my cheeks, but I did it.... I don't know what else to say about that.
As family members were called and friends and neighbors start to arrive. I got the rest of the story. The husband and father had died not a month earlier, car accident somewhere in the mid-west while he was away on business. The woman didn't take it well her sister said. How do you take it well I wanted to ask her. I didn't, I kept my mouth shut and noted down all the pertinent information for my report.
How does someone do that? How does someone get so far down to swallow their own death with a bunch of cheap wine and their kids are in the next room?
I don't know about anyone else that was there. But I went home and picked up my kid and didn't let go for a long time...
BRM
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Contact....
I've finally created an e-mail account for the blog. So if anyone wants to comment or ask a question and doesn't want to leave it on here, feel free.
BRM
BRM
Thursday, September 27, 2007
I'm Back...
First shift back and let me tell you, I was ready. Don't get me wrong, I love my Wife and Family. But I am not the type that can sit around the house for very long. I got my "Honey-Do List" done and several other things that I have been meaning to do around the house and yard and then...nothing. My son is of course a new-born and does nothing but eat, sleep and poop continuously. My wife won't let me hold him all the time and God didn't give me the equipment to feed him right now. So I was tired of watching the same movies on HBO and sitting around on my widening ass. Like I said, I was glad to go back to work just to have something to do.
Some things changed while I was gone. I am no longer working with New Partner. Now I have Another New Partner. The last one got moved to another station that was closer to where she lives and now I am working with someone else. He's been a Medic for a while, but hasn't been with our company very long. While I think I will miss New Partner, me and Another New Partner (ANP) seem to get along well, so I think it will be OK.
Our first day together was a fairly busy one. We ran about 8 calls. I know that's not a lot for some of you out there but our calls take around 2 hours from dispatch till we get back to the station. So that's approximately 16 out of 24 hours on the road. A normal day is about 3-5 calls, give or take.
Most were routine BS calls, a fall, nausea/vomiting, anxiety attack, minor dyspnea and the like. The one that wasn't made ANP and me scratch our heads...
The call came out as a seizure. We get to the house and there is a young man laying on the floor having what looked like at first glance a seizure. But he wasn't jerking around and he hadn't pissed himself. No one was there but a female friend of his that was freaking the hell out. He was going in and out of these spasms and wasn't responding to anything. His whole body would just lock up and then he started frothing at the mouth.
ANP went to the truck to get things ready and with the help of a first responder I got him on the stretcher and to the truck. ANP had everything ready and had the Valium out and was getting ready to draw it up because the patient hadn't stopped the spasms.
We didn't give the Valium, luckily. There was a first responder who had been talking to the patients mother on the phone trying to get some kind of history and he came back to the rig and told us what he found out.
The patient had a cardiac history that included tachycardia and had 2 ablasions done over the past 4 or 5 years. Well, we had already put the patient on the monitor, done a 12-lead, started an IV and gotten a blood sugar reading and gotten base line vitals. His rate would jump to about 140 while he was having the spasms and then return to around 80. Other than that and the fact that he was still spasming and unconscious, everything else checked out fine. The first responder is also a Medic and works with us part-time. He then tells us that his wife has the exact same problem with the exact same symptoms. He said that the spasms were caused by extreme pain but there was really nothing that we could do for him. The guy did look like he was in a hell of a lot of pain. So we got moving to the hospital.
About that time he woke up. He went from zero to oh shit in about 1/2 a second. He wasn't postictal at all. He was just scared shitless and didn't know where he was or who we were. Once we had him calmed down he was OK. He didn't want to go to the hospital but we talked him into it. All the way there we was conscious but he still had these spasms. With them he was having extreme chest pain. I called in to Med-Control and told them what I had. I don't think they had a clue either because I didn't get any orders or even suggestions on what to do. So we just got him to the ED and that was that. I still don't know what was really going on with him. I've asked several other experienced Medics and they didn't have an idea either.
So that was my first shift back... Busy but interesting...
BRM
Some things changed while I was gone. I am no longer working with New Partner. Now I have Another New Partner. The last one got moved to another station that was closer to where she lives and now I am working with someone else. He's been a Medic for a while, but hasn't been with our company very long. While I think I will miss New Partner, me and Another New Partner (ANP) seem to get along well, so I think it will be OK.
Our first day together was a fairly busy one. We ran about 8 calls. I know that's not a lot for some of you out there but our calls take around 2 hours from dispatch till we get back to the station. So that's approximately 16 out of 24 hours on the road. A normal day is about 3-5 calls, give or take.
Most were routine BS calls, a fall, nausea/vomiting, anxiety attack, minor dyspnea and the like. The one that wasn't made ANP and me scratch our heads...
The call came out as a seizure. We get to the house and there is a young man laying on the floor having what looked like at first glance a seizure. But he wasn't jerking around and he hadn't pissed himself. No one was there but a female friend of his that was freaking the hell out. He was going in and out of these spasms and wasn't responding to anything. His whole body would just lock up and then he started frothing at the mouth.
ANP went to the truck to get things ready and with the help of a first responder I got him on the stretcher and to the truck. ANP had everything ready and had the Valium out and was getting ready to draw it up because the patient hadn't stopped the spasms.
We didn't give the Valium, luckily. There was a first responder who had been talking to the patients mother on the phone trying to get some kind of history and he came back to the rig and told us what he found out.
The patient had a cardiac history that included tachycardia and had 2 ablasions done over the past 4 or 5 years. Well, we had already put the patient on the monitor, done a 12-lead, started an IV and gotten a blood sugar reading and gotten base line vitals. His rate would jump to about 140 while he was having the spasms and then return to around 80. Other than that and the fact that he was still spasming and unconscious, everything else checked out fine. The first responder is also a Medic and works with us part-time. He then tells us that his wife has the exact same problem with the exact same symptoms. He said that the spasms were caused by extreme pain but there was really nothing that we could do for him. The guy did look like he was in a hell of a lot of pain. So we got moving to the hospital.
About that time he woke up. He went from zero to oh shit in about 1/2 a second. He wasn't postictal at all. He was just scared shitless and didn't know where he was or who we were. Once we had him calmed down he was OK. He didn't want to go to the hospital but we talked him into it. All the way there we was conscious but he still had these spasms. With them he was having extreme chest pain. I called in to Med-Control and told them what I had. I don't think they had a clue either because I didn't get any orders or even suggestions on what to do. So we just got him to the ED and that was that. I still don't know what was really going on with him. I've asked several other experienced Medics and they didn't have an idea either.
So that was my first shift back... Busy but interesting...
BRM
Monday, September 17, 2007
I'll be back....
....sometime in the next few weeks. I took a little time off from work to spend with the family unit. I'll continue with the writing once I go back on shift. Until then...
BRM
BRM
Thursday, September 13, 2007
My Son...
My son was born a few days ago. I can't begin to describe the feelings that I felt when I held him for the first time. There are no words in the English language to articulate it....
Ya'll welcome my son, Kaleb Grey to the world....
BRM
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Wow...
I got an award....
Thanks goes out to Sandy G!
Other blogs that I can't live without and read almost every day...
A Day in the Life of an Ambulance Driver,
Baby Medic,
Boobs, Injuries & Dr. Pepper,
Rocky Mountain Medic and
Street Watch: Notes of a Paramedic.
These are just a few, all the others on my "Great Reads" list are exactly that, great reads. I would recommend all of them. Thanks again Sandy!
BRM
Thanks goes out to Sandy G!
Other blogs that I can't live without and read almost every day...
A Day in the Life of an Ambulance Driver,
Baby Medic,
Boobs, Injuries & Dr. Pepper,
Rocky Mountain Medic and
Street Watch: Notes of a Paramedic.
These are just a few, all the others on my "Great Reads" list are exactly that, great reads. I would recommend all of them. Thanks again Sandy!
BRM
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